• A confession, to begin with, I am a reformed cricketing aficionado. Namely, I don’t follow the sport as it is now. To be honest, I don’t think there is much sport left in the way cricket is played now.

India is hosting the biggest cricketing spectacle in the world — the ICC World Cup. The last time it was held in India, back in 2011, we also won it. Remember, the Tendulkar being hoisted on the back of the teammates and being taken for a round of Wankhede moment. Coming back to 2023, the way things are progressing at the moment, there is every chance that India will be holding the cup again. Though I doubt, if the team will be hoisting Rohit on their shoulders’, he is not all that fluffy afterall.

Winning the World Cup should be an exciting thing. The prospect of winning the cup in front home crowds cheering “Jai Shri Ram“? A real moment of history? India reaching the cricketing pinnacle, yet again?

It would have been wonderful and great indeed, except for the fact, that we seem to be undergoing a cricketing-withdrawal of sorts. One days are no more as exciting as they used to be.

Forget the stadiums with empty seats, there is almost no buzz on the streets, no passionate discussions at coffee stations or exchange of notes at grocery stores. People are not thronging outside electronic shops to see the matches on the big TVs there. You might argue that they are watching it on the mobile screen. Well, they might be, but they certainly are not discussing or debating matches or stats, like it used to be in the past.

All in all, this is the most thanda cup that I have ever seen. The boringest of all. In fact, the cup is so thanda this time, that you could possibly serve vanilla ice cream in it — plain and cold.

There are essentially two reasons why ICC World Cup 2023 is not working. I am sure everyone kind of knows it, but let me state it nevertheless.

Primarily – an overkill of cricket.

Back in the days, when I was a kid, we were often warned against doing too much of the same thing. If you eat the same thing over and over, you will lose interest. If you play the same game over and over, you will get bored. Moderation apparently was the secret to enjoyment. Cricket a decade back, before an abomination named T20, used to be a sport that was rather sparingly played. A one-day or test series would be like an Aamir Khan film, you would have to wait long for it to happen, even though it was a dud. But nowadays, cricket is more like an Akshay Kumar franchise, it doesn’t matter if the series fails or fails miserably, the next one is just round the corner. The top guys at the ICC in their fascination to earn money, are scheduling one series, one tournament, after the other. So, if India loses to England today, no big deal, we will get a chance to extract revenge next fortnight.

Secondly — where is the world in this World Cup?

The primary contenders of the cup are all common-wealth countries – nations that were ruled by Great Britain. Be it Australia, South Africa, New Zealand, India, Pakistan or Sri Lanka. Even the West Indies team, is a conglomeration of English-speaking colonies of the Caribbean, so yeah, they are off-white as well. In all, there are 10 countries that are vying for the cricketing World Cup. Of which only 3-4 have any real chance of doing it. Compare a typical fotball cup, say the 2026, there will be 48 teams playing there.

So yes, the ICC World Cup is as “world-ly” as say Wellington (in the Nilgiris, Tamil Nadu) is the capital of New Zealand. 

Finally, because you have read this piece so far, I feel the responsibility to chipkao one more reason. See, if you agree to this one?

Guess, where the World Cup Final will take place? Think, think — remember this is a new Bharat and not India, so think biggggg. How about the biggest? Yes, the Narendra Modi Stadium in Ahmedabad. And guess, who will be there in the stands watching the match — think, think — of course, PM Narendra Modi. Wouldn’t it make a truly wonderful photo-op, the Indian team winning the cup at Narendra Modi Stadium and dedicating it to the great Narendra Modi in person? The way the matches are proceeding, it is almost a certainty that India is going to win. It has been a solo show so far, with Indians clicking with the bat, ball and fielding. As if the whole ‘kaynat‘ (or rather Jay Bhai at BCCI) is willing for the Men in Blue to win. Unless, there is twist in the tale or a surprise in store, like in the Gladiator Movie, where the Barbarians defeated the legionnaires in the reenactment of the battle of Carthage.

And it is not only this time alone, the One Day World Cup has become increasingly boring over the years. It could also be due to the fact that the cricketing teams are not the way they used to be in the past, like say Australia, West Indies, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, all of them are a shadow of their former self.

In fact, the only part interesting about the World Cup was the marketing bit, like how the India – Pakistan rivalry that was aptly captured by the Mauka-Mauka ad series. Back in 2015, there were some really fantastic ads, as part of the Le Jayenge campaign. My fav being the one on Father’s Day – shown below. Sadly, the matches with Pakistan are so one-sided thesedays, they don’t really have any mauka at all.

This time round, even the marketing people seem to have lost their mojo. What a staid, silly, and bird-brained the current theme song is. It seemed to be doubtfull about the pull of cricket itself. Starting with the query, “Kya aap fan nahin ho?”. Han, bhai, han, — ab nahin hu!!!

So yeah. If you have nothing worthwhile to while away your time on, then the World Cup should be a fun stuff for you.

Else, there’s better stuff happening outside your window — like say the spider that is spinning the web, or the leaf that is using sunlight to make sugar.